Peregrine-having tendency to wander

Esme Barrera, Girls Rock Camp Austin volunteer and camp counselor, was murdered this New Year's Day.

whateverygirlshouldknow:

amyrebeccaklein:

When I heard the news, the first thing that came to mind was the murder to Mia Zapata from the Gits. The similarities stood out to me—a woman walking home late at night—Esme from a party, Mia from a bar, the way the two women loved music and used it both to inform and to uplift, and the seemingly random nature of the crime. Except neither crime was as random as we’d like to think. In fact, Esme’s killer attacked two other women that same evening. Mia’s killer had a history of violence against women, including battery, assault, and domestic abuse. Violence against women and girls is endemic in this country and if we think we’re safer now in 2012 than we were in 1993, when Mia was killed, then we’re only deluding ourselves. If we want to honor Esme’s memory, we should try our best to stop violence against women in our communities. A woman who gave so much of herself to others, working with special needs kids as well as young musicians, deserves the kind of memory where you do something, instead of just standing by. This year, when I watch the girls learning how to punch and kick in self-defense class at Girls Rock Camp, I will think of Esme, and how empowering young girls is not just a theoretical framework for feminist thought; it’s a survival tactic. We hope that someday, we’ll have the power to save every girl’s life. I didn’t know Esme personally, but from what I’ve read on the internet, “Esme got it. She knew rock and roll was eternal. As long as we’ve got the sound, we’ll never lose her.” -Alyx Vesey. I’d like to add that the kind of supportive, really positive feminism that volunteering at Rock Camp instills in us will continue as well, and that whenever we teach self-defense, or offer to walk a female friend home late at night, or stand by watching just to make sure a drunk guy shouting at his girlfriend on the street doesn’t hit her, or comfort someone who’s been hurt, we are honoring someone’s memory.

I just had to bold part of this. Thank you, Amy.

Don't lecture black women about marriage

This leads me to my final pet peeve regarding so-called relationship experts. In their quest to sell books and make media appearances, they bulldoze the individual nature of the mating game in the rush to diagnose millions of people with the same problem. The truth is, there are many reasons why people find themselves single. Sometimes, it’s their own attitudes. But many other times, the timing just isn’t right, their careers are too demanding, or they need to focus elsewhere. As a black woman who has been in a committed relationship for five years, nothing is more obvious to me than how random circumstance plays a major role in many happy relationships. If I hadn’t missed a concert, I wouldn’t know my boyfriend; if one of my friends hadn’t gone to Mali with the Peace Corps, she would have never been on the same continent as her now-husband; if another friend hadn’t missed her original train and hadn’t been wearing a sweatshirt from her alma mater, she would have never met the man she would marry.

Dating, love, and marriage are far more complicated than self-proclaimed experts would have us believe. Statistics can show all kinds of trends, but ultimately, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (in a relationship) is the province of each individual.

(Source: fuckyeahfeminists)